In Tune With the Church Songs

A boy sits down with his father outside the church as the sermon of the priest comes to a close. They hand the ale next to them a few pesos and the ale in turn gives them some Hansels and a Pillows pack to wile away their hunger. The boy thinks about his mother and his sister who are inside the church listening attentively to the sermon as he takes in a Hansel sandwich. He remembers that not long ago, he would also be inside the church with them. But tonight, he's outside the church, sitting on a bench by a big willow tree keeping his father company.

The boy looks at his dad and knows that deep inside, that they want to believe in a God. He knows that they want to believe in something bigger than this life. But with all the repetitive sermons which just cycle each year, over and over again delivered by different preists, getting worse every year, just more illogical, hitting the same brick walls of the arguement of faith. "How do I know that what you're telling me is real, Mr. Priest?" "All you have to do is believe, young one." Don't worry Mr. Priest I believe you...

Three years of sciece-based education did something to the boy. It reconstructed his way of thought. Now, he won't accept anything that has no logical, acceptable, realistic proof. After reviewing the many theories and formulas of physicists, the uncanny physiology of each biological individual, and the behavior of the unstable little molecules, he has come to terms with the idea that everything must have a factual basic assumption from which everything else will follow. Physics has the Laws of Newton. Biology has the Theory of Evolution. Even Chemistry has its basic assumptions. He scrutinizes religion and finds no Law of Newton, no Theory of Evolution, no basic assumption.

However, the boy is no Satanist. He doesn't let his moral code crash with his religious one. These are two different things for the boy. He keeps his moral code of doing good when you can and avoiding bad when someone might get hurt. He just doesn't acknowledge a diety to guide it. He's spiritual, not religious.

Just as he replays the religious arguement of believing blindly or searching for proof, the churchpeople recite the Apostle's Creed. "I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth..." "Why do I believe in Him? Why should I believe in Him?" But the prayer does not answer him, instead it goes on "I believe in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord..."

The boy steals glances at the different points of the church's exterior. He spots the moldy pillars of the outside, it look like this church has been here since Spanish times. He notices the nearby cemetery and remembers the beliefs of the past. Old habits die hard and tradition at times, although illogical and superstitious (something the Church is said to discourage), people up 'til now are still burying their dead beside the Church thinking gives them a better chance of shotgunning and rubbing their shoulders their way to heaven. He realizes the immense size of the Church and while it may be older than his grandparents, this structure was taken care off better than any individual who has ever come across it. He remembers the corrupt friars, and while they may be gone, the fact still remains that gave proof that evil men can hide behind holy masks. He sees the lavish altar all golden and lit up with the Christmas songs. He sees the Communion paraphernalia, and thinks about the hungry beggars outside relying on humble Hasnsel sandwiches for lunch. He then turns his attention to a simple sign by the corner printed on it are huge letters in bold: BAWAL MAGTINDA SA SIMBAHAN.

Just then, the Our Father is played. "Give us this day our daily bread." For some people, these vendors provide them with THEIR daily bread, be it some Chippy or some crackers. Apparently the Church 's standards are are too high to let these simple folk take their daily bread as long as the priest and the laymen take theirs.

It's Communion time and the boy remembers that if he doesn't show up in that long line, his mother will notice that he didn't attend mass. He's going to hear a sermon if he doesn't lie to the tradition. He stands up and walks toward the door, his father doesn't mind. But he stops himself short. What's the point of being a sentient if one doesn't have one's principles. He sits back down next to his dad who hands him another Hansel sandwich.

The mass ends a few moments later and the boy props himself up near the door to look like he's gone out with the rest of the people, make it look like he did go to Mass. He has his principles but he's too tired to listen to a sermon so he lies to avoid the trouble. His mother doesn't ask him if he did nor does the boy think she wants to know. Or maybe he's just overthinking the silence. Just like how I overthought religion.

Take a Drink - Quietdrive

I never want to be part of the herd
I guess I was in case you haven’t heard
Maybe you can tell that I can’t stand
The way I want to be the included
I always want to be a mystery
I always knew that two and two made three
I wish away the time I’m living in
I never wanna see the smile again

It’s not for sure
And I’m feeling
Like it’s not for sure
Come on and take a drink with me
Whoaaa whoaaa
I don’t think you can cope with it
I don’t think you can handle it
Whoaaa whoaaa
Forgive my own forgetfulness
And take a drink with me

I wanted to be two, but more than one
I only thought that I could be so dumb
Crush my heart with your new heels
I’d beg for you, but I don’t kneel
I understand that you were living there
It never bothered me that I don’t care
I wonder if I’ll act on my impulse
I wonder if I’ll leave if you say go

Whoa would you take a drink with me
If it’s all you can take
It’ll be okay
If it’s all I can take
Then just put me away

Whoaaa Whoaaa
I don’t think you can cope with it
So take a drink with me

I never want to be part of the herd
I guess I was in case you haven’t heard
I wanna spend some time to make you see
So why not come and take a drink with me?

There's this Door

I was walking through the dorm's halls one night. Noticed the same things. Looked for the same people in the same rooms. Asked some what was the homework. Asked some for answers to the homework.

Then I came across this door. When you walk the halls of the dorm, the doors to people's rooms are always to your right. But then there's this door. Then again, there are two actually, that if you walk the entire square of the hall, they're to your left. No one notices them. One door has a part of it broken so some of us throw garbage inside it. We know it's empty. But then the other one's always locked. No way to look inside.

Logically, there would be nothing inside. It would be just an empty room with a discarded Voice cracker wrapper as random garbage. It would probably be a dusty room, with some cobwebs on the side. No light bulb inside.

But then again, that would be boring as hell now wouldn't it. After reading a few Sandman comics, I get this imaginative state of mind wherein ideas of the hypothetical suddenly pop out everywhere.

That door should have something to make it more mysterious. Maybe, it really is a dark room, with cobwebs on the side... and a corpse in one dark corner. Or it should have some physically impossible doorway to the SHB. Or maybe it should have a turned off cyborg that if you look a little more closely, you'd find out it was the dorm manager. Gasp. Or maybe everyone goes in that room when I'm not looking and play Poker or something. And I'm the butt end of the joke of the secrecy. Or maybe when everyone's asleep, the place morphs into a medium for everyone's dreams all crumpled into one.

Everyone's always told me that when it comes to describing me. What you see is what you get. You'd get my life story by just looking at me. To a certain degree, it is true. I'm about as deep as a puddle, but then there are a select group people out there who know me just about 20,000 leagues deeper. Who just like that door, have taken the time to take a peek inside. Who've seen me take off the masks when there's no one else looking.

Logically, I'm just a door to an empty room. The most amazing thing about me is my doorknob which you could sell off somewhere for a quick buck. What you see is a door, what you get is a door. But then again, screw logic. I'm not an empty room.

Maybe I'll try to open that door next week. I'll bring a lock pick. Take my time.

I wish I knew how to play the Piano

I was listening to a song a while ago. It was a cool song. Killer guitars, solid bass, catchy drums. But then, there was this really cool part of the song where everything fades behind the lyrics. And then it comes, the gentle keyboards behind the singer's voice. As if to amplify the ambiance of the song. The keyboard goes on for some time. It was so soulful, so smooth, so blah. No words to describe it. Then the entire bravado of the song comes when all the instruments play. Ang astig talaga ng music.

That's when it hit me. I wish I knew how to play the piano. or any instrument for that matter. I wish I could outlet all my emotions into one melody of sorts. Just like these musicians.

There's something about music that makes you just want to grab a guitar and go. Sometimes, when I listen to a song, I can help but tap my fingers to the beat. It's as if I want to be the drummer behind the guitar and the bass rocking along. Sometimes, the song just take me by the ear and I just have to sing along. The melody. The rhythm. The beat. It all comes together to make something that is just too amazing for words at times.

I think God just gave a piece of the puzzle called music. He didn't give me the finger of a guitar god. Nor the perfect ears for beat of a drummer. I didn't even get the aura of the bassist. And sadly, I also didn't get the hardwired tuning of a lead singer. Instead, God gave me the pen and paper. He gave me words to live with. There's something about writing that suddenly makes me click and all of a sudden, the pen, the paper, and the words i write on them suddenly become a mirror to myself. I can suddenly express myself on a black sheet of paper.

I guess that's my instrument. They say the pen is mightier than the sword. They didn't say anything about guitars though. So yeah, I'm still wishing I could play an instrument. XD

It's official

It's Sunday again...

Woke up at around 12 today. Still feeling groggy. Played the PSP for the 10th time in 48 hours. It's a good thing I got some homework done today. I even got to do my ComSci blog posts even when my internet's busted. Thank God for Word.
I'm far away from Pisay, here in Valenzuela. Got most of my homework done but then again, there was nothing else to do so yeah. I here my siblings arguing over who gets the last krinkle. it all seems so pointless. Just like the rest of my boring day. My parents are late again, still doing the housework. I'll probably get to the dorm even later... again.

Oh crap, we have mass again. Why do we always go to mass at night. Ba't di nalang kaya pwede sa umaga. Better yet, wag na lang. Bleh ang sabog ng araw ko.

It's official. I hate Sundays at home.

For the Long Absence

As some of you may notice, technically, it's been a while since all my posts. See it's like this. My internet got busted. Turned out, we forgot to pay for it. For the entire month of November, I didn't have internet. To compensate, and to some degree, to also fulfill my Comsci requirements, I made all the preceding blog posts in word with dates stamped on them.

The dates of the next few blog posts will be accurate. That I can assure you.

Why Now?

It's been a while since November 1 and I've only got to go deep in the subject only now.

Through some long random thought process, I got to remember the thoughts I had on that day of cemeteries, candles, prayers, and glowsticks. There was a number of things I noticed during this festivity of the dead.

The prayer were growing more and more quieter. The flower were growing less in size and number. No one seemed to bother anymore about the dead. Frankly, I can't blame them.

The prayers just seemed like a set of repeating patterns of code. Useless, repetitive, meanigless.
The flowers just seemed like an invitation for graverobbers to steal some from your graves. I have some relatives who fixed up some tombstones of some of our dead. It looked great. During the first year. By the next November, it's lighting was pulled out, the chandeliers were stolen, and all the glass was broken. Graverobbing 101. By the next November, the metal was sawed and probably sold to some junkshop, the giant lock we used to keep the place safe was also welded out. You could still see the shard of the welding implement. Now the place has the lowest quality lighting which only turns on during the first week of Novemeber. It's sockets were all pulled out. Technoically, what's to steal if there's nothing there. The metal was allowed to rot. Who would steal rusted iron.

In our efforts to keep our relatives respected, we open ourselves up to theft. To solve the latter, we open ourselves up to the former. It's a cycle of detox just to retox.

If you really want to respect the dead. Give flowers to them on their death bed, when they can still smell the flowers. If you want to pray for them, make it so that they can still hear you. If you want to respect them. Do it while they're still alive. a truckload of tears for the dead is nothing for an ounce of love for the living.

And can someone make sure all the cemeteries are well-protected. The gossips of graverobbers is getting repetitive and boring. Shoot the graverobbers if you will, baka multuhin pa sila kung ipagpatuloy nila un.

Poet Mode... O_O

Impossibleng Maghanda

Ang bawat sulyap, Ang bawat pagkapansin
Ng isang dilag na talo pang prinsesa
Ngiting turing tala sa kagandahan
Mapansin kaya ang bati’t anyaya

Ngunit oras na tumayo siyang paalis
Tumalon ang angking loobing tahimik
Gusto sanang sumigaw at magpapansin
Ngunit ang katawa’y di man lang umimik

Tumayo’t nabigla, harapan ay mutya
Binuksan ang bibig, hinanap salita
Tinandaan ang linyang dati pa alam
Sinarado mata’t, huminga’t humanda

Sana hindi siya mabigla at tumakbo
Mula sa umaasang walang pag-asa
Mula sa mga mumunting wiwikain
Sana’y manatili siya’t makinig muna

Sa ilang daang gustong ipahiwatig
Para sa ilang oras ang hinihiling
Para mawala lang sa segundong ito
Makuha lang ang mga gustong sabihin

Ngunit nabuhol ang mga memoryado
Nasintunado ang mga kanta’t tula
Anlayo nga pala ng iilang metro
Lahat ng paghahanda’y biglang nawala

Iilang salita lamang ang napiga
Mula sa pusong nalaglag nang biglaan
Paalam sa ngayon at habang wala ka
Paano kaya kita malilimutan

Retreat pare \m/ part 1: First Day.

I just had some of the best three days of my life. It was called retreat. \m/


First day. It started with the usual long bus ride to the spot. Buti na lang astig ung mga katabi ko. Ansasaya nila grabe. Tas napaisip ako. Shet ansaya na, simula pa lang.

The place, Angel's Hills was great. The beds (wink wink), the houses, the town hall, everything was great. It felt like a village of Batch 2010. I wish we could stay there forever. XD The talks were great. We had fun speakers "I had the right combination, I punched hard... And i ran fast" XD. May pipe-in music pa. DEATH METAL, pare. \m/ Shet ang ansaya ni Ren magjoke. Sobrang saya ng LAHAT ng kasama ko sa kwarto. Pramis. Pau, Borgy, Jon, Ren, Juan, VERY VERY sexy Josh, JJ, MG, and Gorio. Yan sila sa taas oh. :D. MAy mga kasama pang room hoppers. LOL. May Death Brief if Doom pa kami, pare. Hay the memories. \m/ Basta ansaya.

Gusto ko pa sana ituloy 'tong post na to. Pero since andamin kong masasabi. Titipid ko siya. PArt two coming soon. :P

Life Rating :P

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.9
Mind:	8.5
Body:	8.8
Spirit:	7
Friends/Family:	6.5
Love:	3.8
Finance:	5.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Paper Puppets

Sembreaaaaaaaaaaak. WALANG KLASE, WALANG TEACHERS, WALANG REQUIREMENTS, walang court, walang mga tao, walang mga friends, wala ung mga best friends, walang kalaro, walang... wala.

I like the fact that there are no classes, in fact I love it. But come to think of it. Would I gladly trade off spare time to watch Deathnote, House, play video games, finally sleep a full eight hours (kahit na nagpupuyat parin kakapanood ng House), jog in the morning, read Sandman and all the like, with time with all my friends in the hell that is Pisay?

Hell no.

But yeah that's life. I guess I do need the break. But so many things got disconnected from me during sembreak. Plans had to be scrapped (isang malaking RAR), brain cells had to be turned off (shet sana handa ako pagdating ng school), and the natural equilibrium of things had to be disturbed from the normal mundane sufferring which is Pisay with all your friends, to the normal mundane that is home.

Got to borrow a book from Dan. It was Neil Gaiman's graphic novel The Sandman: Endless Nights. Seryoso, ang astig ni Neil Gaiman.

I read as Death killed of the count who controlled time, how Desire taught a woman to control her desires as well as others and so much more. The Seven Endless: Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Despair, Desire and Delirium. I wondered if they were real. Ang astig siguro kung totoo nga sila. 7 being controlling all the facets of our life.

At the end of the First Chapter which talks about Death, the narrator concludes the Chapter by saying: (i hope i give the book justice)

... The people in the city seem paper thin in the mist. They believe they are dancing to the music of their lives, But I think like the puppets [I saw earlier], each of us is pulled upon invisible strings, until the night comes and we are put away...

Life's not supposed to be boring then, Life's supposed to be as much fun as it can be before the dreaded night comes. Life shouldn't be spent at home doing the same mundane things all day long. Life shouldn't have a boring sembreak.

Going in Blind

Oras na para maging malabo na ewan...

I woke up with a feeling today...

It's not because there was a monkey beside me. (a.k.a. Gideon) It's also not because of the fact that I was late. I was always late for my first subject. It's not because I'm writing a blog entry when I AM already late.

Today, I felt something different. As if I was going to do something without any consideration for logic. I felt like the deer in the headlights. I don't know why.

Maybe it's because of the plans I have in my mind. Maybe I thought of everything too fast, to hastily that I didn't even bother looking at the big picture and if my plans would actually amount to a desirable result.

Whatever it was, I'm going in blind. I'm rushing towards what I have planned at what I will do. That deer in the headlights. I AM that deer, and I'm rushing towards the car with no consideration for what will happen next.

In any case, Good Morning Fidel Serrano, welcome to your world.

Calm Before the Storm

Today was a crappy day. The especially crappy part was this morning. It went on and on, non-stop 'til my scattered brain was all over the floor.

First subject was Math4.

Now don't get me wrong, I like Math4 because of Sir Nat. The discussion aren't all that boring, and he makes sure we know all we need to know. His teaching is great, always reminding us that Math can be simple as long as we practice. So each time I fail one of his tests, I know it's my fault. He had scheduled for us a speed test about graphing and inverse Trigonometry.

I studied for it all night long, I made sure I understood everything and in less than an hour I had mastered inverse Trigonometry... Or at least that was how I wished the night before the speed test played. Key word: WISHED. Last night was absolute hell. Room was messy, roommates were noisy so I decided to move my laptop, my notes and my book to another room where I was forced to study for a Bio long test which I will talk about later. Main point was I fell asleep and I had to cram Math4 in my head at 4 in the morning, half-asleep, half-dead. By the time the speed test was done, I really was dead. Sir Nat had us check our test telling us the answers afterward. I think I'd be lucky if my score reached half of the highest possible.

Next circle of hell. Bio Long test.

This one I studied for. I seriously stayed up all night to check if all my notes were right, if I understod the power point completely, even read the book. Only to find out that I would study everything except what was part of the long test, focusing on everything Ma'am didn't even ask for. Damn, that was annoying.

Enter the next period, which meant English Long test.

It was actually easy. Which made me breath a sigh of relief. Finally, something I prepared for which actually paid off.

Next was Chem. Chem meant practical test.

I went in as one of the first five testers. Remembering the two formulas which would be needed. mass = M x MM x L and M1V1 = M2V2. I actually hoped to get a solid or my practical since it was the easier of the two evils. Luckily enough, I got one of the easier problems.

A little calculation here and there. Hell, even my weighing of the substance was lucky, hitting the required mass on the second try. Dilute the solution, wash when needed. Transfer into whatever-its-name-was flask, Erlenmeyer ata. Sana tama spelling para di naman ako magmukhang tanga. Clean up and I was done.

Wha seemed like a flawless practical test for me turned out to have a four-point deduction. For what? I honestly don't know. I don't care. I was content with my score. Minsan walanghiya na kasi ang ibang tao eh. Minsan, ako na rin. Nakakapikon na nga eh. Antaas, taas na ng score, magrereklamo pa eh.

Rest of the day was test-free. I think ComSci could have qualified as having a test but my head was too wasted to consider it a test even though it was hard.

And then it hit me. Everything that had happened today would be nothing compared to the hell that would happen next week... OMG...

Civil War

That was the title of the Marvel comic series which would change the Marvel universe forever. Now, before you brand me as a comic nerd, I would like to first warn you that I am no such thing. I'm just an avid reader, a fan. And besides, Civil War was one of those comic series that anyone should read.

It was about how the carelessness of a few superheroes caused a tragedy, an entire neighborhood having an experience close to a nuclear bomb dropping on them killing hundreds of thousands. This in turn, makes the American government pass a law which will require all superheroes to register with the government become civil servants and have everyone know their respective secret identities.

Half refuse, half accept...

Some argue that they were lucky to be tolerated. Some retrt that it is their liberty to remain behind their masks. As arguements are thrown back and forward, both sides come to a clash. each one gaining a victory over the other, losing and gaining members at the same time.

As each side gains whatever advantage they can get resorting to cheating and being allies with the worst kind of villains, they finally come to blows at the comic's last volume: Volume Seven.

Now for those who have not yet read the series, I am already warning you, I will spoil the ending...

Captain America, Marvel's closest copy of a Superman only better since he really is as vulnerable as any superhero should be. His arguement was that those who kept their masks on, their identity secret, held on to their liberty better than those who didn't. Liberty being Captain America's personified value. Iron Man opposed him saying that becoming civil servants was the only way for the people to turst in the superhuman community once again.

They come to blows in the last volume of the comic, Volume Seven as each one brings their recruited allies to fight for their stand. An epic battle takes place as each superhero fights on another in the name of their opinion.

Captain America and Iron Man meet on the battlefield...

Since that meeting the score was even. Each guy had a victory over the other on his belt. So when they met on the battlefield, the score was tied. After a while though, it was obvious. Captain America was winning the last battle. He had the better heroes, he outnumbered Iron Man's army, and he was wiping the floor with Iron Man's armor. Then Tony Stark, with melted armor and all, as he saw that his side was losing said to Captain that he should go ahead and finish it.

Captain America hesitates for a moment and is then attacked by a group of civilians. He tells them that he doesn't mean to hurt them only to realize after seeing the burning city that he was too late...

He realizes and says out loud that all of the superheroes, all of us aren't fighting for the people anymore, we are simply fighting...

Spider-Man, being on Captain America's side asks him why he is giving up when his side was winning everything back there. Captain America then says my favorite line in the series.
"(We are winning)

Everything...
except the arguement"

And then I wonder, about all those times when semantics and ideals were thrown by one side to another, how everyone argues their point only to resort to force to ensure that their idea is better. Who are we to say who is right and who is wrong when we are clouded by emotions like anger? When we bring tanks on the other side just to show we are right. We can't say who is the better man, the better idea until we look at the big picture. Until we see in an unbiased light what we have done. Until we have seen all our opponent's flaws as well as our own.

You want world peace? You want to punish everyone who is wrong? You want to stop all the chaos in everyone's ideals? Punish those who need to be punished in an unbiased light. Don't have the clouds of such things such as emotions, illogical beliefs, other people's opinions hover around your judgment. Have everyone see the big picture...

Wahoo Ateneo!!!

Before I went to Pisay, I was a true blue Atenean. I did it all. I cheered for the team during games. I wore the blue while proudly watching my team own the other. I was in the bonfire which celebrated the victory of the great Enrico Villanueva, LA Tenorio, Larry Fonacier, BJ Manalo and Wesley Gonazales.


And then I moved to Pisay...

While I tried to keep my links with Ateneo strong, going to their high school fair, meeting up with all my old friends, chatting with them. Holding on to something like Ateneo when I'm dedicated to a place like Pisay seemed useless. Before I knew it, I was considering myself a Pisayista rather than a former Atenean.

But when Ateneo won that game 1 against La Salle, I felt like a part of me, an Atenean part of me reawakened. Suddenly, I cared if Chris Tiu missed a shot, if Casio got up a good lay-up. I didn't care becuase I needed to win a bet. Di pa ko namumusta nung game 1. I cared becuase there was a time in my life,when I was an Atenean, when I wore the proud Blue and White, when I rubbed shoulders with the sons of famous people even though I was a random promdi who had the hardest time going to Ateneo from a far away province, when I cheered for the Blue Eagles in tune with "Three fights in a fight! Fight Blue and White!"

That was then, this is now.

I don't know what happened. Maybe I just felt a sense of nostalgia, a sense of wanting to become an Atenean again. At any rate, the next day, when I woke up, I looked at myself in the mirror, and said to myself with full honesty "I am a Pisayista, and proud to be one" just like as I said to myself long ago "I am an Atenista, and proud to be one"

Immortality, Take It! It's Yours

This was the famous line of Achilles when the Greek Force was about to land on the shores of Troy. His force went ahead of the others and Agamemnon laughed at his foolishness only to find out that Achilles and his Myrmidons would be the defining force which would take the Trojan Beach. Besides the fact that Achilles was near immortal, and he knew it, there was also another reason why Achilles so boldly charged head-on to the Trojan War. He was searching for what many search for and never find: Immortality. We share the same definition of immortality; it means to be remembered. It just doesn’t mean to be remembered by your children or grandchildren. No, anyone could do that. Immortality means to be remembered by everyone forever, to walk in annals of time to be marked as a key person in one’s era, to have your ideas, your actions, you achievements echo on beyond your death. Few have reached such a status, some through righteousness, others through brutality. Whatever method they used, it was all about impact. In the pond which we call the world, they didn’t throw pebbles in the water. No, they threw one big boulder to make one big splash which would change the pond, the world, forever.

We live in a world of stagnancy, of repetitiveness. No one is remembered anymore for anything in our world. There are a select few who do rise just a little out from the murk of normality and they get awarded with things like the Nobel. But we don’t remember them the way we remember people like Jesus, Da Vinci, Plato, and Mao Zedong. We remember these guys for their ideas, for their actions. It was in V for Vendetta where I heard an idea I’ve always thought about for a long time. It’s just irritating that that guy V beat me to coining it. “You cannot kill me for I am an Idea and Ideas are bullet-proof.” Ideas don’t decay for as long as a mouth speaks it, a book talks about it and for as long as people still believe in it. Jose Rizal showed it to us through the two works of El Filibusterismo and Noli Me Tangere. With these two works he sparked the fire of revolution in the hearts of the Filipino. Jesus’ life and inspiration gave us the Bible with which we are preached in the ways of righteousness being, on paper, the most prominent belief of the world. Here we can see that to become immortal, we need to be great, to be more than just the average passerby in the busy and swift avenue of time. We need to be the poor simple guy in the corner with the sign “Repent, the End is Nir.” We need to be philosopher arguing ideal with other passersby. We need to be the seemingly crazy mathematician vandalizing an entire wall with his complicated formulas only to come up with something truly amazing. We need to be the guy who brings a Tommie gun to the scene and makes sure that everyone is listening to him, remembering him. We need to be biochemist who finds a cure to a once incurable disease. We need to be the general who makes the tactical strategy to win the war, the physicist who finds the secret of the cosmos, and the mathematician who finds the formula for world peace. We have to become the terrorist, who bombs the Statue of Liberty, the sniper who stops the said terrorist, and the spy who introduces anarchy in a country. We need to be a figurehead, the face of something, of an idea. We need to embody our idea to make ourselves immortal with that idea. We need to be remembered for success, for failure, for innovation, for improvement, for genocide, for peace, for your ideas for anything, just be remembered.

These people did not start out great once they were borne from their mother’s womb. The only difference between the normal person and these pivotal fictional people is that these people chose to be more than the ordinary. It started small. The mathematician must have chosen to be the most innovative math genius one school day in school and it continued on to adulthood. The physicist must have formulated a crazy idea one mundane physics class long ago only to test it and find it was indeed true. The sniper must have picked up a toy gun in a toy store one time to play with it and later on become the sharpest eye in the sniper force. It all starts small and it is up to us if we want to walk that road. Immortality is truly within our reach. We just need to see it, to seize it and make it our own. Immortality, take it, it’s yours.

We cannot be immortal alone. We should have the generations ahead to talk about us, to pass our story through mouth or through paper. As we are passed on from generation to generation long after our death, as our ideas, our actions echo to form inspirations in the hearts and minds of many, we truly become immortal

Large Hadron Collider...

Just yesterday, I heard about The Large Hadron Collider. It was supposedly a really big particle accelerator capable of forming a black hole. After much research, Wiki lang katapat niyan, I realized that indeed the rumors are true

We really do have a big-ass collider ready to blow up into a an even bigger black hole...

I remember the moments I first heard about it. I overheard Joaq say it was the end of the world. I thought it was just a joke so I asked him about it "They turned it on na" *ang cono mo Joaq... Haha.

A string of questions later, I found out about the Large Hadron Collider. And the world coming to an end never seemed so real. 

For a few seconds, I thought about what I would leave behind. What WE would leave behind. If a black hole in Switzerland sucks everything up for good, will all our monuments, our legacies, our actions mean a thing?

But then again, it was only for a few seconds...

'Tas natamaan ako. Think about it, if there was a real threat to world of a possible black hole popping up, why the hell would scientists, supposedly the smartest people in the world go through the risk to answer just one question? 

As it turns out, physicists have considered the possibility and have calculated the risks involved. They've gone through all the possible angles. A black hole popping if indeed something goes wrong is possible but VERY highly unlikely. 

The illusion of the world ending may have been fake, but those moments in between, those moments of fear, of thinking of leaving the world behind without making a mark on it, without being remembered. That was real. 

And it hits you so hard when you realize it...

Nakakabaliw

Kaunti pang tiyaga...

That's what my class adviser wrote about me on my report card. Please lang naman... kaunti pang tiyaga sa pagsulat ng comment. Yung iba nga dyan may mga quotes of wisdom pa kung saan saan eh. Kung nakakapikon na nga na maikli na yung comment, gamit na gamit pa. Di ako masosorpresa kung may kasama ako sa section ko na ganun din ang comment.

Pero pag-isisipan nga naman natin. Ano lang nga ba ang solusyon sa ating mga problemang pang-akademya? Really, what is it that we need to remember each time we go home?

Isn't it the same? That we need to remember to be responsible? To be hardworking? Maglagay pa ng kakaunti pang tiyaga?

Maybe I'm just making a pathetic looking comment seem deep. Maybe I'm just bringing life into a lifeless comment. At any rate I got what I needed to get. I got a lesson from a simple reminder.

Pero sana naman next time... Para hindi naman ako agad mabaliw sa kaiklian ng comment ninyo. Maglagay naman kayo ng words of wisdom, wala akong pake kung kahit mula lang naman sa aso ninyo. Kahit man lang sa joke book mo kunin ung advice. Andami kong dugo't pawis and dinadaan sa araw-araw ng Pisay at di man lang umabot ng limang salita ang acknowledgement sakin. Palabukin niyo naman mga comment niyo... Pwede ba?

Spirituality

I am a Roman Catholic... on paper

I see myself as a very religious person on hell weeks and probably special holidays... sadly on no other time.

Truth be told, I'm not really the most religious tool in the shed. I like to work based on logic. I've tried all the logical alibis as to why I should really believe, as in BELIEVE, but somehow, someway through the same logic, I've found a way to debunk the said alibis. Don't get me wrong. I'd love to think that there is something greater than today, but somehow, I don't see it in all the religion. See that's the difference between Spirituality and Religiousness, at least in my opinion. Spiritual people need only to believe that there is something. Religious people need to believe IN something.

I'd love to believe that there is something bigger than you or me, that there is a greater being watching over us, a higher order of justice which is not bound by what is evident but by what had truly happened punishing in all fairness who were wrong and rewarding all who are just. I'd love to believe means, I'm not believing just yet, even though I'd love to.

Think about it...

They tell us to dismiss temptation, to dismiss our desires, to go beyond the selfishness of wanting reward. And yet what do they promise? The greatest reward they could think off. In a sense, everyone who is dismissing all their desires (becoming a good follower of the belief in the process) is just forsaking them all for a greater reward. Isn't that selfishness in itself. Just like a hunter forgetting about the fawns that pass him by to catch and kill the biggest and best game.

I want something bigger than life right now but also, in a sense, I want life to be something big in itself. I want everything we feel, all our memories, all our sorrows, our joys, our accomplishment, our setbacks, our actions, our choices, everything... to be more than just a passing moment, some temporary state of life. I want now to be more than just a test of how righteous we are or how selfish, something more than just 80 or 90 something turns of the earth around the sun.

I watched House and he was once asked "You would rather believe that THIS is it?"
He replied "I'd rather believe that THIS is more than a test." It was one of the deepest lines that got stuck to me.

Yes, I want to believe, but I don't want to depend.

Recently, I had a talk about prayer. It helped me get back on my religious track. O baka madali lang ako pagsabihan. It helped me believe in God again. After some reflection, I realized that maybe God is something so big for me to logically reason out. Then again, maybe not. Who knows?

I don't know where I'm going to go after my life. I don't think much about death. What I'm really concerned with is Today, Life happens Today. It happened Yesterday, is happening Today and it just might happen Tomorrow. At any rate, days will come and pass and years will fade like leaves that fall from a tree. And I want to be able to relish every moment of it by dismissing the uncertainty of my Tomorrow and really giving a damn about Today.

If you have any violent reactions about my post. I'm sorry. This is my opinion and I'm entitled to it as much as you are entitled to yours.

If you were not influenced by my post, if you are still strong on your faith and belief, Good.

If otherwise, please forget everything I have just said. I don't want to make atheists, but I do want to see more people concerned with their actions and their consequences today. I want to see people who do the right things not to invest in their concept of tomorrow but because they want to make a better Today.

I don't know... maybe I need to talk some religious authority on the subject. Until then I will remain a Roman Catholic... on paper... in life... or maybe something in between...

"We live, we die, and the wheels on the bus go round and round." - The Bucket List

Live in a Dream

Ang labo talaga ng pagtulog ko. Madalas ako magsleeptalk at paminsan-minsan kinakaya ko pang mag-sleepwalk. And the dreams I dream. Sometimes they go on for so long and the colors and the sitauations are so vivid that I'd often confuse them with reality.

Masaya ba na paminsan-minsan, nabubuhay ang isang tao sa panaginip. Even for a few short moments, we can escape to a world where we dictate what will be and that our wishes are always fulfilled. At the price of reality, we get a world where what happens is what we want to happen.

I've had a few dreams kung saan alam kong nananaginip lang pala ako. Medyo astig na rin yung mga panaginip kong mga iyon. When I thought I was dreaming I tried to test it. "Gusto ko ng chocolate cake!" Poof, may lumabas na chocolate cake mula sa kawala! It was then that I knew that I was dreaming. Panira nung kakainin ko na sana ay bigla akong nagising. Sometimes, the dream can make itself obvious. One time, I fell asleep doing my Math homework, and so I dreamt about a Math4 class. Sir Nat gave the class a problem to solve. After about an eternity of elipses runnning through my head, the class gave up and begged Sir to tell the answer. After a long pause, Sir Nat said "Di ko rin alam eh..." Ay kung di mo pa inisip na nananaginip ka na sa lagay na iyon. The list goes on and one and on. I dreamt Neil had an afro, my sister turned into guy, figthing off an army of numbers (halatang traumatized sa math), biglang naging kasimputi ko si Juan Senga and a few more impossibilities make up a list of impossibilites which helped me deduce that indeed I was dreaming.

I have had a few dreams where I never wanted to wake up from. You know those moments of complete happiness. Those moments that one can indeed just dream about. It is a moment of extreme happiness and dissapointment. Happiness lines the entire dream and dissapointment hits hard in the waking up.

In dreams, you can't feel anything. You can't feel pain, no sorrow, no joy, no nothing. What you get is an illusion, a false assumption. What follows is that everything else that follows is false. Kung simula pa lang ay mali na pano pa kaya ang final answer

Maybe...

Maybe Life is just a Dream. or at least it can be a dream.

We sometimes look forward to much to the false euphoria of a dream that we forget to work on getting it in the real world. We look up to idol on TV from so far down that we forget our own ability to rise up from ourselves to be looked up to. We listen so much to the songs which tell the story of happiness that we forget to live our own songs of our own happiness. We focus on the future of promise that we forget the actions we need to do today.

We dream of illusions too much to make our own life a dream in itself to behold.

Life's Good

Life was great this past week.

Monday and Tuesday was obviously fun because of the Champaca party (oh, di na Champarty tinawag ko ha.) Games, games, crammed chem at the sake of playing even more games, and this was all happening before we even stayed in Ada's place. When we got there, the real fun began. We brought out the Wii, the PS 2, hell, even a friggin dartboard was pure fun. When it got boring, we went out into the drug-addict filled streets only to go back dissapointed to be scared only of some half-drunk dude who followed us for two blocks. Back at Ada's house, it was fun, games and bonding until the wee hours of the morning. I was just shocked to realize that as I didn't sleep the entire party and it was worth it. Whoo pagod na ko... but in the funnest of senses still saying to myself, "Tae ansaya ng buhay."

Back to the real life/Pisay. I went back to the dorm with Charlez and Joshua. There wasn't any electricity for the third floor of the dorm, so we had to regain our sleep without an electric fan. Life was so fun that I personally didn't mind. I think Charlez was kinda pissed as I slept so peacefully from the bed across him as he had to cope with doing an English reflection paper since he couldn't sleep. The rest of the day was normal fun as more and more dormers came to Pisay.

I came to classes with a light feeling of satisafaction. Even as I found out about my long test in Math (which I failed), I didn't let it bring down the spirit of happiness from the past two days. Classes... Friends... Classes... Caf food... DISMISSAL kasi suspended classes!!! the normal cycle of a school day... or rather the cycle i wish a normal school day would have. Nga pla, nakpakalbo nga pala si Luna. LOL. An abolutely great gift from Jo. As in seryoso anluphet niya. Life is good xD Hahahaha. \m/

Thursday came and passed... i hope i didn't miss out on anything I should remember that happened on this day @_@(mastered the singing part of dikum song... :D)

Friday... got picked for an elocution...crap... Bonded with a few people which was great. High point yun nung araw para sakin. And yeah, am now typing for a blog post...

"Life's Good...dumdeedumdeedum"